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Yes, this is satire, and you should be ashamed of yourself for thinking otherwise, even for a moment.
As rumors spread that President Trump has asked his staff to explore the possibility of buying Greenland, he took to Twitter this morning to request the largest island in the world switch names with its nearby island neighbor.
“It’s way to confusing, like parking in a driveway and driving on a parkway,” he said in a Twitter thread. “Greenland and Iceland should swap names to put an end to the madness they’re causing. I’ve been to Iceland. There’s no ice!”
Greenland carries a sparse population for an island so large due to the thick ice that covers most of the land. Meanwhile, Iceland is a lush landscape with more plant life than it’s inappropriately named neighbor across the sea.
Democrats invoked “fluid identity” to rebuke the President’s request.
“Just as a man can be a woman and a woman can be a man, so too can Greenland be covered by ice and Iceland be covered by green,” Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi said in a statement. “How dare the President try to force his opinions about identity on other nations.”
Members of “The Squad” attacked the President for trying to misname the islands. “Just because we believe Israel should be called Palestine doesn’t give the President the right to ask countries to change their names.”
We are currently forming the American Conservative Movement. If you are interested in learning more, we will be sending out information in a few weeks.
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