As America’s bureaucratic swamp is being drained by the fearless engineers of DOGE spearheaded by Elon Musk, one name rises above the rest: Edward “BIG BALLS” Coristine.
Coristine, a brilliant coder, has been making waves in Washington. At just 19, he’s already worked at Neuralink, has been spotted within key government agencies, and recently secured a senior adviser role at the State Department’s Bureau of Diplomatic Technology—propelled by the media hysteria surrounding his moniker.
The leftist media, desperate to smear him, has dug up his past, highlighting controversies and accusing him of rubbing elbows with hackers.
New York Magazine reported:
Edward Coristine got his nickname by accident. In math class during his junior year at Rye Country Day School, students were passing notes and, “when it got to him, he drew a phallic object and wrote BIG BALLS on it,” according to a current upperclassman. “Then a math teacher took it out of his hands and read it out loud to the class. Then I guess he embraced it because he changed his LinkedIn name to that.” Angad Sethi, one of Coristine’s best friends from high school, says, “To him, it was sort of talking about having big balls, being a risk-taker. That’s who he is. It was a joke, but it does have a meaning.”
Big Balls is now part of a revolution sweeping Washington, D.C., led by Elon Musk’s so-called Department of Government Efficiency, which in a series of lightning strikes has shut down the U.S. Agency for International Development, gained access to sensitive information on tens of millions of Americans, and initiated a purge of the federal workforce. A 19-year-old with a broccoli perm and piercing stare in his yearbook photo, Coristine has popped up everywhere, demanding that staffers justify their jobs by explaining their biggest “wins” and inquiring how to replace employees with AI and chatbots. By the end of his first month, he was inside the Departments of State and Homeland Security, the Small Business Administration, FEMA, and the top cybersecurity agency. He is the youngest of a group of six male engineers who work for Musk, sustained by pizza and Red Bull. Beleaguered government employees have taken to calling their young overlords “Muskrats.”
Coristine’s hometown of Larchmont, a wealthy, mostly liberal enclave about an hour north of New York City, is an unlikely breeding ground for a right-wing foot soldier. His father, Charles, is a Wall Street veteran who bought the organic-snack company LesserEvil in 2011 and turned it into a behemoth with annual sales exceeding $100 million. (LesserEvil emailed customers “in light of recent events” to say that it is in “no way” affiliated with politics.) “His dad definitely inspires him,” Sethi says. And so does Musk: Coristine taught himself how to code and skipped senior prom to intern at Musk’s Neuralink, which develops brain-implantable computer chips. “It’s a compulsory thing for him to achieve,” Sethi says. […]
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leave it to the left to take a sexual connotation and promote it from the roof tops.