Crime Is So Out of Hand in Oakland That Someone Stole the Jaws of Life

We hear a lot about crime stories out of California, but this is not one I ever expected to read about.

Sure, people steal baby formula, razors, and catalytic converters, but it takes a special kind of degenerate criminal to wander away with the Jaws of Life.

Also known as a hydraulic rescue tool, (but Jaws of Life is several thousand times more badass, so we’re going to call it that) it’s used by emergency crews to help cut people out of cars, and that’s what some firefighters in Oakland were using it for last Friday evening, per The Los Angeles Times.

It did its very important job, and then crews set the tool aside, but apparently no one was keeping an eye on it, because it appears that some daring thief decided to swoop in and make off with the fifty-pound tool.

If there are still any people in denial about the crime problem in a lot of California cities, this might be a good time to accept that fact, because that might be the most insane thing I’ve ever heard of anyone stealing. […]

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