CA GOP Offers Super Bowl Travel Tips, and They’re Glorious

A press release by the California GOP (yes, there are still a handful of Republicans who have stayed in California) is master-level trolling. To be honest, as a California conservative I’ve learned to loathe the feckless Republican Party in my state, but this demonstration of trolling gives me hope that they may be waking up and entering the 21st century. Finally.

Super Bowl Travel Tips

This weekend, all eyes will be on California, as LA’s SoFi Stadium hosts the Bengals and Rams for the Super Bowl. With many expected to travel to the Golden State for the big game, we thought we’d make their travel experience a little easier by putting together a few travel tips to maximize their experience:

If you’re taking the train, you are not actually entering a third world country. Train robberies jumped  356% last year in Los Angeles, while shocking images of debris and trash along the train tracks recently went viral. Gavin Newsom hit the nail on the head describing the scene as a “third world country ,” while conveniently glossing over his and his party’s role in creating this new normal. Union Pacific  pointed  to liberal DA George Gascon’s soft-on-crime policies specifically as the real culprit. So while you think you may have taken the train too far and landed in a third world country, don’t worry. That just means you made it to LA.

If you’re driving, get gas before you enter the state. Don’t get us wrong, we know gas is expensive everywhere with the national average just hitting  a 7-year high (thanks Biden). But in California, it’s really expensive. With the highest gas tax in the nation that just went up again last summer, California easily has the country’s most expensive gas, well over a dollar per gallon above the national average. So fill up your tank before you cross the state line or prepare to pay!

If you’re flying, get a live look at the supply chain crisis. Still waiting on an online order? If you’re flying out of LAX, look out the window off the coast to get an up-close look at Joe Biden’s supply chain crisis and see if you can spot your item. Cargo ships still  idle off the coast waiting to unload at the Ports of Long Beach or Los Angeles after historic logjams have dragged on for months.

Wear your mask. Unless you have access to a VIP entrance or a celebrity skybox, you are still subject to California,  LA County and  SoFi Stadium’s  mask mandates. Too bad the game isn’t taking place after the mask mandate expires on February 15 for just about everyone but school children. If you need to remove your mask, here are a few acceptable reasons: eating, drinking,  holding your breath,  feeling the spirit,   getting your hair done,   being judicious or being gracious.

Leave your car unlocked. Crime is something to be mindful of when in California. Property and violent crime increased in 2021. Smash and grabs that terrorized holiday shoppers and businesses are still happening   today. In LA, follow-home robberies are on the   rise and homicides  jumped nearly 12% last year to their highest levels since 2007. While the best advice for out-of-towners is simply to be careful and stay alert, you may also take a tip from frustrated residents in the Bay Area and simply   leave  your trunk open to keep criminals from smashing your windows to rummage through your car.

Don’t worry about the homeless crisis. Even though more than a quarter  of the nation’s homeless population are in California, don’t worry about seeing any proof around the big game. While California Democrats could have chosen to hold a special session at Republicans’ urging  to address the homeless crisis, LA officials have instead been busy  removing homeless encampments on the route to SoFi Stadium, enacting the out of sight, out of mind approach instead.

Save up, if you’re looking at real estate. While California continues to hit  record high median housing costs, a new report showed that 5 of the nation’s 6 cities with the least amount of affordable homes are in California. If you make   between $75,000-$100,000 in Los Angeles, for example, there’s only 1 available home listing per 1,025 households. Affordability is a growing problem in California, causing businesses and residents to flee to more economically-friendly states. So if you’re looking to buy, hope you’ve been saving! And if you later decide to leave, make sure to book a U-Haul early, since they  ran out last year with more people trying to flee California than any other state.

BOTTOM LINE: With these simple travel tips, you are sure to have a great time in California cheering on your team at this Sunday’s Super Bowl. And if you have any complaints or concerns about your stay in our beautiful state, please direct those to Joe Biden, Kamala Harris, Nancy Pelosi, Gavin Newsom or either Democrat majority in Sacramento.