Some people may call me a snarky conservative who doesn’t care about the downtrodden. So, once and for all, I’m setting the record straight and giving 5 reasons to elect DEMOCRATS this November:
- Give Democrats a full House of Representatives, to continue resenting rule of law and personal responsibility. Let’s reward Nancy Pelosi for tearing up Trump’s SOTU speech chock full of conservative accomplishments. And let’s be sure to eradicate any remnant of American exceptionalism.
- Give Democrats a Senate majority so they can overturn any remaining moral restraints on behavior. While we’re at it, let’s ban traditional marriage and force monogamous ‘breeders’ to become ‘enlightened’ united under the new U.S. rainbow flag.
- Give Democrats the Presidency so they can issue executive orders overturning all Trump advances. Let’s force the rich to work 3 jobs instead of the two they already work, to pay their fair share of benefits for 150 million newly minted immigrants from the rest of the Americas.
- Let the new president impeach the conservative Supreme Court justices and replace them with a rainbow variety of judges who truly reflect the United States. Imagine all men united with men. And all women with women.
- Let’s make the next high court justices a transgender, perhaps a child molester with a long term heroin addiction or perhaps a fentanyl pusher. Yeah, now that’s truly getting ‘progressive.’ Perhaps even one with managerial skills reflected in the stellar Democrat management of the Iowa caucuses.
And of course, we need one or two illegal alien justices—oh I mean undocumented immigrants. And a terrorist or two for good measure to enforce newly minted constitutional law—Sharia law, that is.
OH, you disagree? You must be a hater, or a homeschooler or anti-choice, or one of those old fashioned gun-toters who won’t be allowed a pea shooter under a utopian trifecta new Democratic United Socialist States of Amerika. That’s America with a K, comrad.