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The art of being a loser

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Roy Moore Victory

It’s not often that I get to bring you all TRULY good news. It feels SO GOOD to tell the story of Judge Roy Moore’s well deserved victory in Alabama.

The political angles will be analyzed for months and deserve scrutiny. But I’d like to address this from a slightly different angle – so please bear with me!

Before becoming a radio hostess I spent almost 14 years in advertising sales. Radio, television, billboards, bus wraps… you name it! Sales is a brutal yet refining craft, especially if you endeavor to approach it honestly and with integrity.

Cold calling, scouring the Yellow Pages, slammed doors, ‘Get Losts’, proposals thrown in the trash, creepy clients who wasted hours of my time because they thought they could get a date, hours spent on presentations only to lose the sale because of nepotism or favoritism. Brutal sexual harassment from managers and bosses… these were the struggles that I suspect many salespeople face.

Yet they were overshadowed by the wins. The wins were GLORIOUS and meaningful. They led to very successful career in media. Even more precious to me were the deep and lasting relationships I formed with clients and colleagues that have spanned decades!

So what is my POINT? What does this have to do with Politics?

I learned very early in my career that in order to WIN without cheating or manipulating … I had to learn to LOSE. My job was to be rejected often, to be a LOSER!

Let me explain…

  • For every 100 phone calls, I would get 10 appointments.
  • For every 10 appointments, I would get 3 pitches.
  • For every 3 pitches, I would get ONE new client.

And I won! But only occasionally. With that crazy formula I built a solid client base and gave myself a pretty good raise every year. And when I had children – that formula gave me the flexibility to stay home with my kids 4 out of 7 days a week.

More importantly, losing refined my character. It made me stronger. I learned humility, perseverance and resilience. And I’m glad for that.

You see, I think in politics, whether we are running for office, starting a news site, activating locally or organizing a movement, we mistakenly obsess over the WINS rather than the refining process of losing. If an entity isn’t always winning we assume they must be losing.

And this is where principled people often get trapped. We might cheat, or manipulate or sell out in order to chase the win rather than understand that the PROCESS of selling our Constitutional ideals and acting with integrity is MORE important than cheap, political wins.

The process of getting up, giving our ALL, acting with integrity, telling the truth, working hard, advocating for our principles and then losing is usually enough to make most of us give up.

They key is to get up, dust off and do it AGAIN.

And again.

And again.

And again.

And I promise you all that the wins will come. They are few and far between but they are MEANINGFUL. These are the victories that change the course of nations and define generations.

I’m going to savor this victory in Alabama and return to it when the defeats are rolling in. I promise you that I will continue to work the formula and hope you will too. Cheerfully and with great heart, as long as God calls me to do so!

Are you with me?

Shannon Joy is a Rochester native and on a mission to inform and empower today’s busy women! She hosts the Conservative Chic radio program “Shannon Joy”.

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2 Comments

2 Comments

  1. Shannon

    September 27, 2017 at 1:07 pm

    Thanks for posting guys!

  2. Ellie Gable

    September 27, 2017 at 6:02 pm

    Spot on. As someone who’s faced the same challenges in sales I can tell you I now appreciate wins like Moore’s a lot more. When they’re so few and far between, it makes them more special.

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Culture and Religion

Love is not exclusive: An open letter to Matt Walsh

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Dear Mr. Walsh,

I am a longtime follower of yours, but over the last few months it seems you are spending a lot of time calling out leaders of various faiths for not being Christian enough. Why would you want to alienate others who are also trying to do God’s work of spreading love the way they have interpreted it? The Bible leaves lots of room for interpretation. Was that unintentional? Perhaps there was a purpose for the parables instead of absolute answers.

No two people are going to believe the exact same thing nor hold the exact same approach of what is best to reach people to live an inspired life, even if those two people are reading from the exact same Bible. The important thing is getting others into the boat of doing good, loving all unconditionally, and bringing people together. What good does it do to divide us this way? Most of the time I applaud what you stand for, but I think this is wrong.

There are many different types of Christians with many different messages. But why focus on the differences? Jesus would surely want us to focus on the similarities… to love each other as brothers and sisters as we are, not push those who are slightly different outside of some line you have decided absolutely cannot be crossed.

I admit I know very little about all the different types of Christians that exist and the idiosyncrasies you insist on calling out. But I don’t need to because that’s not important. That line of thinking misses the greater message – that love is more important than our individual sects. We are all in this together. Christians from all walks are spreading their way of understanding the best they know how. They aren’t spreading evil. Anything outside the limits of your defined box doesn’t necessarily make it evil. As long as you are acting as a conduit of unconditional love, you have nothing to fear, ever.

The greatest of these is love. Not faith. That means your faith should never be more important than love

You have lost the purpose of following Christ in the first place. There are moments as a father when my daughter will give an extra piece of candy to her little sister just because she knows it will make her smile. But there are also moments when my daughter knows I’m watching and gives that candy to her sister only because she wants to be recognized as kind. See the difference?

Being a good Christian isn’t the end goal. Being Christian is supposed to be a means to a life of good, love, and worth. Don’t do good just because it keeps you within the Christian box and therefore gets you to Heaven. That is a selfish motivation. Do good for a better reason: Because you have love in your heart. Do good because you love unconditionally, and you truly want to help others be happy. It is the only thing that matters in our time here, and it’s how we grow in spirit. By learning in every action how we can perform that action in a loving way, we challenge ourselves spiritually in every choice we make.

When you are on your deathbed you won’t be thinking of how much money you made or how many people you excluded for being inadequately holy. You will be thinking of the way you treated others, and the litmus test for that judgment is unconditional love. If you are acting in accordance with love for your neighbor, you will be proud of your actions as you lay there reflecting on your life. But if instead you are acting out of fear, those will be the actions that haunt you in your last days.

Love

Love is the means and it is also the ends. It is the lesson and the reward. It is the guide and the destination. We are meant to spread that love where ever and whenever we can, without restrictions. Only then are we truly walking in the light of God.

First Corinthians 13:13 is certainly very cliché, especially at weddings, but it holds an insight that many of us often overlook.

“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”

The greatest of these is love. Not faith. That means your faith should never be more important than love… Unconditional love, not just love for your family and friends. Love for all. And not with conditions like, only if he is a Christian, or only if she acts the way I think she should. Unconditionally means as they are. Love him because he is. For if we only love those who love us back, what kind of love is that?

Dan Alexander

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Culture and Religion

How do you spend your time?

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How often do we do things just because we are supposed to? Or go through the same routine over and over again without pausing and asking ourselves if we really enjoy what we are doing. There’s another way.

Do only things that bring you genuine joy. Don’t lie to yourself about this. Be brutal with your honesty here. This is about your own happiness, therefore the only one who can determine if the thing you’re doing is really something you enjoy is you. Maybe you tried surfing or skiing and everyone else raves about how awesome it is, but to you… meh, it didn’t really click that way. You don’t have to pretend. You get to choose what you do or don’t do.

What is genuine joy?

It’s when time flies by and all you felt was pure, never contrived, emotion. You began doing that thing and it’s like you became it. Your hands on the handlebars melded to them. You were in the movie or painting or music, feeling it. Your fingers on the instrument were the instrument. You didn’t spend a second thinking of being elsewhere; you were completely immersed in it. As if your actions were not even done with conscious thought. You’re smiling ear to ear then, and for hours to come. This is fulfillment. This isn’t faux happiness for a Facebook post.

If you’re doing something voluntary, and you don’t really enjoy it (and deep down you really do know) STOP. You don’t have to. Do what you really love. The moment you recognize whatever it is you’re doing isn’t really making you happy, put a stop to it. Stand up and walk away. Do something else and do it for you. No need for Facebook posts, just that legitimate smile and that feeling on the inside.

You have to purge the negatives in your life. No one else knows you like you. So if you don’t fight for your own happiness, who else will?

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Culture and Religion

Remember what’s important in life

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We all deserve forgiveness, the benefit of the doubt, and need to be reminded of what really matters from time to time. When you encounter someone who does something rude or mean or bad, avoid labeling them as a rude or bad person. Instead, give them the benefit of the doubt that they were just having a bad day/week/year and they are in a place where they have forgotten about what really matters in this life.

That it’s not about wealth and acquiring stuff. It’s about relationships and how we spend our time together. It’s about lifting each other up.

Have you ever gotten into that rut, where you have been hyper-focused on your job, or your hobby, or self-improvement? You were doing really well! You’ve gotten ahead, acquired a lot of great, new things; you make more money now, and you’ve gotten really good at whatever it is you were working on.

But then… You watch a show, a movie, maybe hear a song or a sermon, or read a story about humanity and how short this life is; About how we treat each other when we are trying to acquire too much… and it’s never enough; it’s never big enough; it never satisfies us.

But when you get that message again from that show… You recognize it, and you wake up. You stand up in the room, and you look around, and you see that all over the room everyone else still has their heads down. And very few are standing with you. But you see it now, and you say to yourself, “Why was I so focused on that? That doesn’t matter! My kids are growing up! My parents are aging, my grandparents dying. And I’ve been missing all of it… For what? For a house that’s 1000 sq. feet bigger? For a car that can drive a little faster?”

We all get sidetracked and stuck on this misleading path. That’s why we need to give each other the benefit of the doubt. Try not to label people as “bad guy” just because they did something once or twice, and recognize that people deserve forgiveness, and just need to be woken up again.

Remind them. Remind me when I forget. Please. It’s about Love. Family. Friends. Relationships.

Sell everything you own if it’s blinding you. Buy experiences instead- Experiences that you can share with one another. Hug. Laugh. Cry. Touch. Share. And remember. Remember what it’s all about.

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