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Help spread the hysteria: Create the next scary weather term and win the accolades of the climate cult.

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It used to be that wintertime was cold and summertime was hot. Then the climate cult decided that using words and phrases that made sense failed to galvanize people to fear ‘global cooling’ or ‘global warming and donate cash to Al Gore. Mundane terms like winter storm or even ‘nor’easter’ didn’t garner any notice so phrases such as ‘Polar Vortex’ or ‘Bomb cyclone’ had to be conjured up to grab attention.

Consider these reports about a recent winter storm:

[Washington Post] First, a monster ocean storm is taking shape, which pasted parts of Florida, Georgia and South Carolina with rare ice and snow early Wednesday. By Thursday, the exploding storm will, in many ways, resemble a winter hurricane, battering easternmost New England with potentially damaging winds in addition to blinding snow. Blizzard warnings have been issued for the Virginia Tidewater region up the coast to eastern Maine, including Ocean City, Atlantic City, eastern Long Island, Boston and Portland.

[Boston Herald]The powerful nor’easter barreling up the coast will “explode” tomorrow into bombogenesis — a cyclone of snow that could dump a foot on Greater Boston, meteorologists warn.

This used to be called ‘winter’ and people expected it to be cold and snowy, just like the summer was hot and humid. But alas, those everyday terms don’t scare anyone and worse yet they can’t get people to give up their liberty and purchase climate indulgences. Problem is, even labeling something an ‘exploding’ ‘monster ocean storm’ of the ‘bombogenesis’ variety and calling it a ‘cyclone of snow’ will only terrify people for a limited amount of time.

This is where we can help the climate cult terrorize a new generation, surrender their freedom and donate to them. Because if anything can stop a monstrous bomb cyclone exploding on the scene, it would be cold hard cash to pay Al Gore’s power bill.

So, how does one create a new scary weather term? Good question! Glad we asked it.

Well, first, it has to have some sort of word signifying an immense and sudden power impulse – such as ‘Bomb, exploding, etc.’ Of course, it must have something implying atmospheric turbulence and chaos brought on by climate change. Throw in an extra word denoting the Arctic region and look out for the grant avalanche.

So we will have three columns of the various terms to be combined to see which sound the scariest.

Column 1

Bomb
Blasting
Explode
Explosive
Annihilate
Blow up
Burst
Destroy
Nuclear
Hydrogen bomb
Dynamite
Shatter
Wither
Wreck
Detonate

Column 2

Hurricane
Tornado
Cyclone
Twister
Maelstrom
Torrent
Whirlwind

Column 3

Icy
Arctic
Freezing
Extreme
Siberian

Blizzard
Bitter
Frozen
Intense
Polar
Severe

 

We can also just coin new words combining terms for tropical weather for arctic maelstroms.

Blizzard + Hurricane Blizzarcane

Arctic + Tornado Arcnado

So have at. Who knows, by next year people could be running scared with new creations we created here!

Differential equations teaches us that one can use the initial conditions of the present to extrapolate events in the near term balanced with the knowledge of the past. The interaction of technological advances and the march of history is fascinating. History can inform those willing to listen as to what will happen in the future because the laws of human natural are as immutable as the elegant equations of Newtonian physics.

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