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Dear Planned Parenthood: My miscarriage was nothing like an abortion

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My miscarriage was nothing like an abortion

I was sitting on the floor of my bedroom with friends playing Monopoly when I felt it. Something wasn’t right. Afraid, but wanting to appear like everything was normal, I maintained my composure. I would wear my best poker face, even if I was only playing a board game.

Politely, I excused myself from the top hat and thimble game pieces and crossed the short distance from my floor to the bathroom across the hall. It was behind the privacy of the closed door that I was first able to confirm what I had already feared — at 17-years-old and six weeks pregnant, I was suffering a miscarriage.

And that’s the first memory that came rushing back to me last week when I read a pro-abortion activist’s opinion piece equating miscarriage with abortion. In the article, she describes her personal experiences with both miscarriage and abortion – calling them “sisters” – asserting that there is no difference between a woman who miscarries and one who deliberately terminates a pregnancy.

As a woman who has endured the heartbreak of a miscarriage, I can’t express how shocked and insulted I was by the absurdity of the comparison. How dare she imply that the loss of a child through an act of nature is similar to a mindful choice to kill a baby in the womb? Most women who have miscarried loved their babies and were prepared to make sacrifices for them. Whether they were planning to raise the child themselves or to utilize adoptive services, both choices would have been an act of selfless love – something an abortion can never be.

I will never forget lying on that table in the dimly lit ultrasound room, a scared 17-year-old girl trying to figure out what was happening inside of her and why. With the glow from the ultrasound monitor illuminating the expression of sorrow on the nurse’s face, she assured me she was looking for my baby. The room was heavy with silence as she searched. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to be seeing on the screen but everything I needed to know I understood through the avoidance of eye contact, which told me it was over before I’d even heard the sympathetic tones respond that, no, there wasn’t a heartbeat, and sorry, the baby is gone.

Where was my choice?

Women who suffer a miscarriage are without choice, while women who have an abortion have intentionally chosen to end the life of their child.

Intent is everything. When a man dies from a heart attack we treat the situation differently than when a man dies from being stabbed in the heart. And we should treat them differently: one is a natural death, the other a murder. Similarly, a miscarriage is a result of natural causes, beyond the choice or control of the mother, whereas abortion is an act of violence against an innocent human being, resulting in that baby’s death, with the mother’s consent.

I grieved the loss of my child for days, weeks, months – the kind of grief that leaves one bedridden, unshowered, and emotionally shattered. It felt as if all the light in my world had been sucked out. I mourned the loss of a future with my child – a future I would never have surrendered to abortion, but had taken from me by miscarriage.

I had already imagined what he or she would look like, their newborn smell, the baby giggles, first steps and bicycle rides, working on homework together. I wondered whether they would love pineapple on pizza, or think it was yucky.

In my mind, I had already lived a life with this child.

While the future I envisioned may have been mere potential, the child in my womb was not. He or she was real, alive, and already developing all the necessary organs and special little traits that would make that future possible.

My baby’s death was a kind of death for me as well. The anticipation of butterfly kisses and bruised knees was gone, replaced by a gnawing pain and a lingering fear that continued to haunt me in later pregnancies. At each prenatal ultrasound appointment I would always subconsciously hold my breath and brace myself for what the screen might – or might not –  display, before the ultrasound wand was even placed upon my swollen belly.

Abortion propaganda would tell me that I was fortunate to have a miscarriage. A 17-year-old girl has no business becoming a mother, right? She has her whole life ahead of her, college and a career — and let’s not even get into her unhealthy relationship with the child’s father and the financial instability that comes along with working part-time, waiting tables.

Thankfully, I never bought into the disempowering fearmongering found in a Planned Parenthood brochure.

I knew the road to motherhood would not be easy, and I was afraid of becoming a teenage mother. But I also knew that women are strong and resilient, and that women throughout all of history had become mothers in far more dire circumstances than I faced.

There were a lot of scary unknowns ahead of me, but the things I did know, I knew with utter certainty: I knew I could find a way to do it, I knew that I loved my baby, and I knew that there was nothing I wouldn’t sacrifice to spare the life of another human being, especially when that human being was my own child. I was prepared to lay down everything in an act of selfless love that encompasses the beauty and gift of motherhood.

If I’m honest, the pain of losing a child is the lingering kind. I don’t know that it ever fully goes away.

But I don’t think that it’s supposed to.

The loss of human life is tragic, regardless of the surrounding circumstances. This is something we just innately know. We feel it. There’s something ugly, tragic, and wrong about death, and nobody needs that wrongness explained.

Yet abortion advocates like to pretend that the death of an aborted child is a different kind of death. A less important death. Not because the aborted baby is somehow less human than his or her miscarried counterpart, but simply because the mother chose for her child to die.

If nothing else, I am glad to see an abortion advocate admit that, in both cases of miscarriage and abortion, the life of a human being is lost, and the future they might have lived is gone right along with them.

In situations of miscarriage and abortion, we mourn the loss of life. We mourn the absence of a child we never got to know. We mourn those lost “pieces of a future you only experienced in your mind”, as the author so rightly acknowledges — and this is where the similarities between miscarriage and abortion end.

An abortion is a choice, as any pro-abortion advocate will tell you. To choose to have an abortion is to consciously consent to an act of violence against the child in the womb, resulting in that child’s murder. There is no escaping this reality by pretending that it is the same as an accidental death. Just as one who’s been stabbed to death can never truly be labeled a heart attack victim, an aborted baby can never be classified as dead by natural causes.

Miscarriage and abortion are not sisters, they are not even in the same family.

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Culture and Religion

PragerU: As the Rich Get Richer, the Poor Get Richer

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The rich are getting richer, and the poor are… also getting richer. What’s driving this wealth creation process? In this video, Daniel Hannan explains why it is capitalism — and capitalism alone — that has led to the unprecedented enrichment that is the central fact of Western life.

As the Rich Get Richer, the Poor Get Richer

Published: Apr 9, 2018

 

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Culture and Religion

Remember what’s important in life

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We all deserve forgiveness, the benefit of the doubt, and need to be reminded of what really matters from time to time. When you encounter someone who does something rude or mean or bad, avoid labeling them as a rude or bad person. Instead, give them the benefit of the doubt that they were just having a bad day/week/year and they are in a place where they have forgotten about what really matters in this life.

That it’s not about wealth and acquiring stuff. It’s about relationships and how we spend our time together. It’s about lifting each other up.

Have you ever gotten into that rut, where you have been hyper-focused on your job, or your hobby, or self-improvement? You were doing really well! You’ve gotten ahead, acquired a lot of great, new things; you make more money now, and you’ve gotten really good at whatever it is you were working on.

But then… You watch a show, a movie, maybe hear a song or a sermon, or read a story about humanity and how short this life is; About how we treat each other when we are trying to acquire too much… and it’s never enough; it’s never big enough; it never satisfies us.

But when you get that message again from that show… You recognize it, and you wake up. You stand up in the room, and you look around, and you see that all over the room everyone else still has their heads down. And very few are standing with you. But you see it now, and you say to yourself, “Why was I so focused on that? That doesn’t matter! My kids are growing up! My parents are aging, my grandparents dying. And I’ve been missing all of it… For what? For a house that’s 1000 sq. feet bigger? For a car that can drive a little faster?”

We all get sidetracked and stuck on this misleading path. That’s why we need to give each other the benefit of the doubt. Try not to label people as “bad guy” just because they did something once or twice, and recognize that people deserve forgiveness, and just need to be woken up again.

Remind them. Remind me when I forget. Please. It’s about Love. Family. Friends. Relationships.

Sell everything you own if it’s blinding you. Buy experiences instead- Experiences that you can share with one another. Hug. Laugh. Cry. Touch. Share. And remember. Remember what it’s all about.

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Culture and Religion

A Memo to the Liberty Grabbers of the Left from the Pro-Liberty Right.

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Hat Tip: Nazis Are Socialists (Meso)

A dose of reality for you Leftists opposing freedom on behalf of the gun owners of America.

Seeing that we gun owners been your rhetorical punching bag for several weeks, there are a few things we would like to point out to you folks opposed to the most essential of Liberties. You’ve spent all manner of airtime talking down to us, dictating what we ‘need’ with regard to our basic human rights. So now it is time for you to listen to a couple of brutal truths in the matter. These aren’t going to be ‘politically correct’, by any means, but such is usually not the case with cold hard reality.

From your ever so self laudatory language, you Liberty grabbers on the Left like to think of yourselves as noble warriors, out there ‘changing the world’ for the ‘Common good’ [Gemeinnutz in the German vernacular]. Fighting for Socialister. Social ‘Justice’ and all manner of flowery folderol [Cue mournful violin music]. Yes, you think of yourselves as ‘sacrificing’ for the ‘the children*’ no matter what that entails. Whether it’s all manner of fame on Youtube or Facebook, to endless praise from your echo chamber, there are no limits as to your willingness to signal your virtue to everyone.
*Unborn children excluded

Well, sorry to break it to you, but in the words of the Marchers: “We call BS!”

The fact is there is nothing more selfish than demanding that others be deprived of their ‘essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety’ for yourselves. You want others to sacrifice their freedom for some mythical gains in your perceived security. It would be one thing for you to give up your Liberty, but that isn’t the case is it? You are marching to demand that the basic human rights of others be stripped from them, that is self-centred in the extreme.

“Those who deny freedom to others, deserve it not for themselves” ― Abraham Lincoln

Empathy is a very important human quality, so perhaps you should consider giving up some of your essential liberties to understand what is at stake for those of us on the Pro-Liberty side of the aisle. Maybe you should demand that you be stripped of your First amendment rights? Or perhaps Liberty Grabbers groups should be licensed before they can demand that others be deprived of their rights?

Oh, what’s that you say? You have a Constitutional right to free-speech or freedom of the press? That those rights ‘Shall not be infringed’? [to coin a phrase] Or that the slightest amount will lead to a slippery slope towards the loss of them all. Welcome to our world, where every time a Leftist lunatic decides to go on a mass murder spree, our Constitutional rights are suddenly on the chopping block. With it just being a question of how much of those rights we’re going to lose – if not everything.

Can we dictate what you ‘need’ in exercising your Rights?

Can we demand that you justify the keeping of your liberties? Can we arbitrarily decree that certain modes of speech are ‘Militaristic’ in style? Do you really ‘need’ to appear on the Tele 30 times a day? Do you really need a ‘high capacity’ smart phone? Do you really need to fire off 5 tweets in a minute just to kill off a basic human right?

Hypocrisy on parade: Liberty Grabbers have guns to protect themselves while denying that right to others.

Please note that the people in the Liberty Grabber movement you idolize are also complete hypocrites in that while they work tirelessly to take away our property and our Liberty, they are safe and secure surrounded by ARMED security. Yes, think about it, the people who rail against guns have no problem being protected by them. Were they to be true to their words, they would disarm their security details. If Citibank and Bank of America didn’t care to be hypocrites they would dismiss their armed security and announce it to the world. Oh, they have to deal with threats? So do the rest of us – and yet they want to make everyone else vulnerable to those threats while they stay safe and secure.

Here’s a hard dose of reality for you: We gun owners protect everyone, even you Liberty Grabbers.

The truth is that while you uselessly virtue signal your inestimable magnanimity, it is those of us on the Pro-liberty side who work to keep you people safe. This may come as a shock, but if you live in one of the states or localities that value Liberty, you are around concealed weapons every time you go out in public. Yes, you might find this to be too scary to think about, but every day you are protected by the deterrence effect of ordinary folks just like you [aside from their cherishing freedom that is] carrying around *Gasp* Firearms hidden from view.

Consequently, you don’t know who might be carrying a gun…. and neither do the criminals. Thus the value of an armed citizenry. They don’t know who may have the means to defend themselves, so they don’t know who to victimize, therefore everyone is protected.

The exception being The “Gun-Free” zone, that vestige of the Utopian fantasy world of the Left. Most mass shootings take place where the innocent are denied their basic human Liberty of self-defence. So what does that mean for you Leftists of the so-called “Party of Science”? It means that your absurd idea that a sign will stop a mass murder results in dead children. That is what you want everywhere, how does that even reach the threshold of rationality?

If you aren’t going to thank us for keeping you safe, could you at least leave us alone?

So why is all of this important? Because the people you have demonisd for weeks are the ones keeping you safe. Those you label as terrorist, splattered in blood are the people providing for your security. How is that for irony?

  • We’re the ones who take the time endure the draconian hurdles put in the way of our basic human rights.
  • We’re the ones who take the time to select the proper firearm and holster to carry concealed out in public.
  • We’re the ones who practice with our weapons in case an emergency arises.
  • We’re the ones who carry a cellphone and extra magazines for that potential emergency.
  • And We’re the ones who will most likely have to deal myriad legal problem and legal fees for merely protecting ourselves, our families and even you people should it be necessary.

Now, we don’t expect you people to grateful for this protection you are afforded. Goodness knows you wouldn’t lower yourself to talk to those of us on the Pro-liberty side. But could you at least acknowledge the effort and perhaps stop obsessing over taking away our Liberty that keeps you safe?

 

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